“Larry, June, And The Year Of The Cat” — A Screenplay, Part Five

Posted: February 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

Entire contents trademarked TM  and copyrighted (c) by Ryan Carey, 2013. That means that if you want to reproduce or use this material for any reason, you have to ask me real nice.



LARRY, JUNE, and the BARTENDER are among a small group of people left at last call. LARRY is unplugging his equipment, JUNE finishing her  drink at the bar, the BARTENDER removing glasses from the dishwasher behind the bar. LARRY calls over to the BARTENDER.

LARRY (to BARTENDER) : Well, how’d we do, ya think?

BARTENDER : Hard ta say. Don’t think the crowd was any bigger than usual, but the folks that were here might’a drank a little more than they woulda, an’ what the hell — folks had a good time. Gotta be worth somethin’, right?

LARRY : Sure.

BARTENDER : One for the road?

LARRY : Well, since the “road” is only about three blocks long — what the fuck.

BARTENDER pours a beer from the tap.

BARTENDER : That’s the spirit.

BARTENDER turns and addresses JUNE.

BARTENDER CON’T : One last vodka tonic, June?

JUNE examines her near-empty glass, pondering her options for a moment.

JUNE : Why not?

LARRY approaches the bar, has a seat next to JUNE, takes a sip off the top of his beer.

LARRY (to JUNE): Couldn’t getch’a up there, huh?

JUNE : Sorry, this’ll only be my fourth coming up. I’d need at least a couple more ounces of — what’s it called? — “Dutch courage”?

LARRY : You don’t know what you’re missin’.

JUNE  : Au contraire, I know exactly what I’m missing.

LARRY : You mean that in a more general sense?

JUNE : Nice try, but given I’ve known you for all of about three hours, that’s the most you’ll get from me.

LARRY lights up a cigarette.

LARRY : Fair enough.

A PATRON named TED gets up from his barstool and heads toward the exit.

BARTENDER : ‘Night, Ted.

TED : Prob’ly see ya tomorrow.

BARTENDER : Drive safe. I’ll keep yer spot warm.

LARRY (to JUNE) : So anyway — what’d ya think? I was surprised how quiet it got at the end of the night, normally that’s the busiest time. Barkeep here said the owner hired us ‘cuz he wants the yuppies to have the kind’a (makes air-quotes) “bar experience” they have back in the Cities, but I don’t think he knows what yuppie bars are like.

JUNE : Well, you can sing. Don’t know about anybody else.

LARRY : Thanks. (pauses for another sip of beer) I front a band in my ample spare time.

JUNE : What kinda stuff you guys play?

LARRY : Shit — we’re a bunch’a old-timers, an’ our regular gig’s at this 50s throwback joynt, so it’s mostly Elvis an’ Chuck Berry an’ all that .

JUNE : Sounds like a poor man’s Sha-Na-Na.

LARRY : You pretty much hit the nail on the head.

JUNE : Isn’t that stuff even before your time?

LARRY : Hey, it’s nice to be one o’ the younger folks in a bar. Doesn’t really happen anywhere else.

JUNE : So — you always been in an old-fart cover band?

LARRY : Nah. Sang in a real band for seven, eight years once upon a time. We almost had somethin’ goin’ there.

JUNE : Almost? They tell me that only counts in —

LARRY cuts her off mid-sentence.

LARRY : Yeah, yeah. It was fun, though. We had pretty steady work every weekend all over the Cities. Even opened for Aerosmith back in the ’78 once at the last minute.

JUNE : Their regular openers miss their bus or something?

LARRY : No. (pauses for another sip of beer) Their lead singer and guitarist got killed the day before in some kinda drunken boating accident.

Brief, uncomfortable silence.

JUNE : No shit?

LARRY : No shit. Never forget that phone call, our manager called me up and told me what went went down and asked if we could be ready in four hours. We were like “hell yes!” (pauses for another sip of beer) But I guess we didn’t make much of an impression because by their next show Aerosmith had found permanent replacements. A bunch’a upstarts who called themselves The Cars. Wonder what ever happened to them?

JUNE : So that’s your claim to fame? (pauses for a sip from her drink) My band was almost The Cars once upon a time?

LARRY pauses a moment, takes a drag off his cigarette.

LARRY : Yeah, I guess so. It’s somethin’.

JUNE : That it is. Don’t let anyone tell you different.

The last customer at the bar apart from JUNE gets up and gives the BARTENDER a wave good-night; the BARTENDER waves back.

LARRY : You close this place down a lot?

JUNE takes a sip off her drink.

JUNE : Used to — all the time. Then I didn’t. Now I seem to again.

LARRY : You can work your potter’s wheel thing with a hangover?

JUNE : I can work it with worse than a hangover if I have to.

JUNE takes another sip off her drink.

LARRY (slight laughter): Been at it a long time, huh?

JUNE : Tell you the truth, I do most of my work over the winter — spring, summer an’ fall is pretty much all about hustling it off.

LARRY : How about the weekdays? Must be time to indulge in the magic of artistic creation then.

JUNE : Yeah, yeah — I get some stuff done year round, I won’t kid you. Just been a little busy lately.

LARRY down a rather large gulp of beer, sensing that the conversation is drawing to a close.

LARRY : Well, hell, since you’re one of those people who makes their living by allowing strangers into their home, maybe I’ll stop by tomorrow an’ have a look at your stuff.

JUNE : Sure, Do that.

JUNE reaches into her purse for a business card.

JUNE (handing him the card) CON’T : Here’s a card.

LARRY glances at the card, which reads JUNE KURZWEIL , MASTER POTTER AND SCULPTOR, over her home address, phone number, and email address.

LARRY : Kurzweil, huh? Any relation to —

JUNE cuts him off mid-sentence.

JUNE : Nope, but people ask all the time.

LARRY sips his beer and takes a long drag off his cigarette.

LARRY : So what exactly makes one a “master” potter?

JUNE : My say-so.

LARRY takes a last drag off his cigarette, puts it out in an ashtray.

LARRY : Guess I’m in the wrong line o’ work.

JUNE : Hell, you’re a karaoke emcee —master of ceremonies, right?

LARRY : Whaddaya know? We got something in common after all.

JUNE finishes off her drink, sets down the empty glass on the bar.

JUNE : Both masters of our craft. I keep shop hours from noon to six.

LARRY pauses, looks at her card one last time, pulls his wallet from his pants pocket, slips the card inside.

LARRY : If I can find the place, I’ll pop in.

JUNE : This town’s not that big. And you don’t have anything to do until 8:00. You’ll find it.

LARRY : Okay, I’ll find it.

JUNE gets up from her seat, extends a handshake to LARRY.

JUNE : And to think — I almost had a drink with Ric Ocasek tonight.

LARRY : Well, hope I’ll do for a substitute. Have a good night.

JUNE : You too, mister-never-gave-me-your-name.

LARRY : Shit. Sorry. It’s Larry.

JUNE : I knew that. Bert told me, remember? I just said you never gave it to me. Which is true.

LARRY : Bert?

JUNE : The bartender.

The BARTENDER gives a dumb little wave.

JUNE CON’T : He’s got a name, too.

JUNE exits the bar.

LARRY turns to face the BARTENDER.

LARRY : Well, Bert the bartender — that was interesting.

BARTENDER : She’s good people.

LARRY : Seems like it. Maybe a little rough around the edges.

BARTENDER :  Hell, isn’t anyone worth knowin’?

LARRY take a drink, his glass now nearly empty.

LARRY : I suppose so.

BARTENDER : Guess you want me to spill whatever I know about ‘er now.

LARRY pauses, considering.

LARRY : Nah.Stand-up guy like you wouldn’t do that anyway.

BARTENDER : Dunno about the stand-up guy thing, but you got the second part right.

LARRY : See? Proves my point.

BARTENDER : Anyway, Romeo, don’t get wanna get too far ahead of yerself. She left ya her tab.

LARRY chuckles.

LARRY : For a chick, she’s sure got balls.

BARTENDER : Well, drink up. Some of us got families to get home to.

LARRY gulps down the last of his beer and sets the empty glass on the bar.

LARRY : Fair enough, Bert the bartender. Fair enough.

BARTENDER : Just Bert’ll do, ya know.

LARRY : Well, lemme load up my stuff and I’ll get outta yer hair.

BARTENDER : Okay. Tomorrow night, then.

LARRY taps his knuckles on the bar.

LARRY : Tomorrow night, then.

LARRY settles up his tab and JUNE’s by leaving a twenty and a ten at the counter and heads toward the bar’s rear exit, grabbing the two-wheeler with his equipment loaded onto it as he goes.


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