“Larry, June, And The Year Of The Cat” — A Screenplay, Part Nine

Posted: February 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

Entire contents trademarked TM and copyrighted(c) by Ryan Carey, 2013. That means that if you want to reproduce or use this material for any reason, you have to ask me real nice.



LARRY, wearing his shirt and tie “work clothes,” enters the bar through the open rear entrance, this time pulling the two-wheeler with the karaoke machine on it himself. He approaches the bar, waves to the BARTENDER, hereafter referred to by his name, BERT, and has a seat.

LARRY : Just Bert! How goes the battle.

BERT : Can’t complain. (pauses) Much. You know how it goes.

LARRY : Sure do. Worked a bar a time or two over the years myself.

BERT : Seems like everyone has. (pauses) Beer?

LARRY : Ya know, for now I’ll stick with water.

BERT pours LARRY a glass of ice water.

BERT : Still feelin’ it from last night, huh?

LARRY reaches in his shirt pocket for a cigarette.

LARRY : Nah, nah — nothin’ like that. Just had a glass o’ wine an’ for whatever reason that stuff’s always sure to leave me feelin’ like shit the next morning unless I get on the water train early.

BERT : Just came from June’s, then, I take it?

LARRY lights his cigarette, takes a drag before speaking.

LARRY : Oooh, look at the big brain on Bert!

BERT grins as he flips LARRY his middle finger.

BERT : So how’d it go?

LARRY : Thought a stand-up guy like you never asked questions like that.

BERT : I don’t volunteer information. Don’t mean I don’t ask for it.

LARRY takes another drag off his cigarette and exhales slowly before speaking.

LARRY : Fair enough. (pauses for another drag) Not bad. I think. I dunno. We’re havin’ dinner tomorrow night.

BERT resumes drying  glasses with a towel behind the bar.

BERT : Don’cha gotta have yer machine an’ stuff back ta yer boss by tomorrow?

LARRY takes a long drag from his cigarette, exhales.

LARRY : Hell, he hasn’t got another gig lined up with it ’till Wednesday, I’ll be fine.

BERT : Must be an optimist if yer plannin’ on hangin’ around that long.

LARRY(chuckling): Didn’t mean it like that.

LARRY takes another drag from his cigarette, exhales.

BERT : They really don’t have ball-busting up in Minneapolis.

LARRY : Believe it or not, they do.

BERT : Could’a fooled me.

LARRY takes a last drag from his cigarette, exhales, and put it out on an ashtray at the bar.

LARRY : Ehhhh — don’t judge us all based on my incompetence.

BERT : Try not to.

LARRY takes a sip of water from his glass.

LARRY : So where’s a good place to eat? I mean a proper sit-down joynt, not Vera’s.

BERT pauses from his work and considers for a moment.

BERT : Hmmm — ya got a couple choices close by, but I’d say try this new place down by the river, think it’s called Catch Of The Day or somethin’.  Just opened a couple months back, mostly seafood. Some hot-shot chef from your neck o’ the woods moved down here an’ set up shop. Fixed up this old warehouse thing nobody was usin’. Place didn’t have any sort o’ kitchen or nothin’. They were truckin’ in equipment from all over the place. Don’t know who he’s got backin’ ‘im but they must have pretty deep pockets. S’posed ta be good from what I been hearin’, an’ I’m willin’ ta bet she ain’t been there yet.

LARRY : Sounds like a fine recommendation, good sir.

BERT resumes drying glasses.

BERT : Prob’ly a little bit on the spendy side, hope ya can handle that.

LARRY takes another sip of water before speaking.

LARRY : Don’t know if I can, but my Visa card should be able to.

BERT waves in greeting to the customer from last night, TED, who has a seat at the bar a few stools down from LARRY.

BERT: Ted.

TED : Bert. The usual.

BERT  mixes a drink behind the bar, and addresses TED, as TED takes off his baseball cap and sets it on the stool beside him.

BERT : Startin’ early tonight, huh?

TED : Startin’ early an’ stoppin’ early. Make sure o’ that for me, will ya?

BERT serves TED his drink.

BERT : Will do.

TED : That karaoke shit works my nerves anyway.

TED turns on his stool to face LARRY, raising his glass slightly in a form of greeting.

TED (to LARRY): No offense, Minneapolis.

LARRY lifts his water glass to return the gesture.

LARRY (to TED): None taken, Split Rock.

TED : It’s just I liked most o’ these people better before I heard ’em sing, ya know?

LARRY : Well, if me bein’ here means the bar empties out early, don’t worry — I doubt I’ll be back.

BERT interjects himself back into the conversation.

BERT : Well, looks like we did maybe 80, 90 bucks better than usual fer a Friday last night. Nothin’ earth-shattering. Don’t balance out against what Ronnie’s payin’ ya, that’s fer sure.

LARRY takes another sip of water before speaking.

LARRY : Nope, guess not. We better hope tonight’s better, huh?

BERT turns his back and grabs a bottle from the wall as he continues to converse.

BERT : You can hope all ya want. I personally don’t care what that prick does with his money.

LARRY : Long as your check clears?

BERT turns back around, now mixing a drink for another customer that he sees seating himself at the far end of the bar.

BERT : Long as my check clears.

LARRY finishes his water, sets the empty glass down on the bar.

LARRY : Spoken like a true member of the working class.

BERT : An’ proud of it. (pauses) Ain’t that you, too? Workin’ class?

LARRY : Shit. I wish. ‘Bout six or seven days outta ten I’m part o’ the unworkin’ class.

BERT (pausing for a moment before speaking) : An’ speakin’ o’ workin’ — or not — ain’t it about time fer you ta get set up?

LARRY stand up from his stool, checking his watch.

LARRY : S’pose it is.

BERT : ‘Nother water?

LARRY : Nah, fuck it. I’ll switch over ta beer.

BERT finishes mixing the drink for the other customer.

BERT : That’s the spirit. Lemme just get Doyle here set up.

LARRY : Take yer time.

LARRY walks over towards the stage with the two-wheeler, as TED calls after him from his stool.

TED : Hey, Minneapolis, you got “Every Rose Has A Thorn” on that machine?

LARRY stops in his tracks for a moment, looks over at TED.

LARRY : Pretty sure I do, why? You thinkin’ of givin’ your friends a reason to like you less, too?

TED takes a sip from his drink before replying.

TED : Just might be.


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