“Dollman” : Twelve Inches Of Mad, Bad, And Dangerous To Know

Posted: February 21, 2013 in movies
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

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Remember the golden days of the late ’80s and early ’90s? Back before the concepts of DVD, or even Laser Disc, were anything more than a twinkle in the eye of some mad inventor and we still watched things on bulky, boxy VHS tapes? Why, these tape things were so popular that a lot of third-(or lower) rate producers even came to the realization that they could bypass those pesky movie theaters altogether and just unleash their usually-less-than-goodies directly onto the rental market. Those were good times, I’m tellin’ ya, and I miss ’em.

Foremost among those peddling their genre wares right onto video store shelves was, of course, Charles Band, who had the good sense to transition over from making low-budget theatrically-released films like The Alchemist and Metalstorm : The Destruction Of Jared-Syn to even-lower-budget straight-to-video work when he realized those new-fangled VCR machines were where all the action for his particular brand of sub-Hollywood product was gonna be located from here on out. He could both spend less, and turn a bigger profit, doing things this way, and hence Full Moon Entertainment was born — an outfit that’s still going semi-strong to this day.

Everybody’s got their favorite Full Moon “franchises,” of course — nearly every idea Band threw out there was worth at least one sequel, and in many cases several. The Puppet Master series has proven to be the most popular and successful of the bunch, but Trancers, The Gingerdead Man, Demonic Toys, Subspecies and Killjoy, to name just a handful, all have their fans, as well.

Tops on my personal list, though, has always been the almost-agonizingly absurd Dollman, a foot-tall bad-ass ex-cop from the distant planet of Arturus named — get this — Brick Bardo, who’s got a gun that can blast anything or anyone to bits and an attitude so OTT in the hard-edged department that he makes Dirty Harry look positively friendly by comparison. Full Moon regular Tim Thomerson is essentially reprising his role as Jack Deth from the Trancers flicks here, but he sinks his teeth into the part with even more obvious relish here since the premise itself throws suspension of disbelief right out the window from the word “go” and never bothers to look back. This is Thomerson “unplugged,” all the way — and probably even a little unglued, too.

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Anyway, for Bardo’s first outing back in 1991 (he would, sadly, make just one other appearance, in the franchise mash-up Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys) he’s transported to Earth accidentally during a high-speed space-chase in pursuit of a villainous floating head-strapped-to-a-board named Armbrusier. Some kind of dimensional barrier or other is breached and/or ruptured in their cosmic game of cat n’ mouse and they both end up crash-landing on Earth —in the South Bronx, no less — and discover, to their apparent near-nonchalance, that they’re not even knee-high to the inhabitants of our planet.

Needless to say, the South Bronx being something of a war zone itself, both Bardo and Armbruiser quickly find themselves on opposite sides in a neighborhood conflict : Brick’s teamed up with “save-the-community” do-gooder Debi Alejandro (Kamala Lopez-Dawson) and her son, Kevin, while Armbruiser figures he can use the local drug gang, led by one Braxton Red ( future Oscar nominee, Watchman, and Freddie Krueger Jackie Earle Haley — hey, we all gotta start somewhere, right?) as foot soldiers in his plan to eventually, ya know, take over the world, now that he’s pretty much stuck here an’ all.

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If this sounds like a recipe for 82 minutes of overtly absurd fun to you, then congratulations — you sure won’t be disappointed. Veteran Z-grade director Albert Pyun (responsible for such disparate fare as The Sword And The Sorcerer and the langusihed-in-unreleased-hell-for-years version of Captain America starring J.D Salinger’s son, among other highlights in a career I’m positively envious of) is fully engaged with material that a Hollywood snob would sleepwalk through until his payday came along, and gets some terrific performances from his cast. The theme song liberally swipes from that of Robocop (most likely without persmission). The split-screen effect to create an illusion of massive size differential is entirely unconvincing throughout. The special effects in general are amazingly, thoroughly, uniformly unbelievable, in fact. In short, this one’s got everything you’d want — a story not worth believing in the first place, executed on a budget that knows it, helmed by a director who’s determined to give it his best effort anyway and make sure his cast does the same (Haley, for his part, certainly proves that he could always act here and that his nod from the Academy was no fluke).

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Like a lot of Full Moon product, Echo Bridge has recently released Dollman on a double-sided bargain DVD along with Demonic Toys and Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys. It retails for around eight or ten bucks and while the full frame transfer and stereo sound aren’t the best by any means, they by and large get the job done. There are, as you’d no doubt expect, absolutely no extras to speak of included with the package. I understand a British Blu-Ray release is also in the works, for those of you who absolutely must see the closest thing to a “quality presentation” this movie’s ever likely to get.

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If stupid fun’s what you’re after, Dollman delivers it by the toy -truck -load. Truth be told, halfway through writing this review I found myself getting antsy to watch it again, and I’ve seen it at least a dozen times. How many films can you really say that about?

Freeze, sucker ! Not another step or I shoot you in the ankle!

Comments
  1. Albert Pyun says:

    Hi Trash Film Guru! Thanks for the kind words. I always enjoying seeing reactions to the my movies, Last year was my 30th year of making movies. Even when I have no budget or a serious of bad luck on the shoots, I try to do my best to make a movie that’s unique and creative as possible.Its surprising to me that my older movies still are watched. For writer’s like yourself to take the time to write reviews is amazing. I am very grateful even for the bad or venom filled reviews because it still means they took the time to see these movies. I think i learn and hopefully progress. Some movies turn out, well, weird because I’m trying to do something creative with it, which means they can be really bad if I couldn’t pull my ideas off. But I try, and will keep trying. Making films in this experimental way creates end results that i know going in some will just hate. But I try not think about pleasing everyone including the studios and distributors. If you get a chance, I hope you will watch my latest effort ROAD TO HELL (www.roadtohellmovie.com), Follow me on Facebook/Albert Pyun Movies. I very humbled you wrote your thoughts about DOLLMAN! Its much appreciated!

    • trashfilmguru says:

      Hi Albert, thanks a lot for stopping by my page and leaving such terrific comments, it’s much appreciated! Like I said, you’ve got one of those careers I’m genuinely envious of, working in all kinds of different genres on Hollywood’s “fringes,” if you will. Your projects have never had huge budgets, but you always give it your all, that much is obvious, and I’ve always found that what your films lack monetraily they more than make up for in heart and effort. That’s integrity, in my book, and you’ve certainly got it. I hope everyone reading this visits your site and gives your new project a look, I wish you the very best!

      • Albert Pyun says:

        Thanks for your kind words although I’m not sure my career is worthy of being “envious”. But yes, its certainly been colorful and full of surprises. When I read look back reviews like yours, it does make me reflect on the past. At the time I was moving from one project to another at breakneck speed so I wasn’t that conscious of the body of work. I never made movies with career or fame or money, it was all about making movies in a way I wanted to see. But I guess that provided a kind of weird array of movies, from Van Damme to Seagal to Christopher lambert, Charlie Sheen, Dennis Hopper, Andrew Dice Clay, Thomas Jane, Kris kritofferson, Burt Reynolds, Lance Henriksen. Marvel Captain America to movies like Doll Man. Across many genres It’s been a lucky and fortunate career. And I’m grateful for it. It wasn’t by design but I was able to create in my own style in so many different genres. And I’m still going, if not as strongly as before, then with making movies I want to make, like ROAD TO HELL (last year) and CYBORG NEMESIS (currently). Have four five more to do then I am going to retire. I have an offer from South Africa that I’ll do next and then Red Moon. I have a sequel to Infection that I’ll do in Florida in the Everglades, then I’ll ease the foot off the pedal and start to relax. I hope my last film will be on a script by David Goyer we’ve been working on for 20 years. thanks for the look back.

      • trashfilmguru says:

        Albert, by the time you hit retirement, you’ll certainly deserve the break! I look forward to seeing your upcoming projects happen, and even though you didn’t plan for your career to be the way it has, that’s usually the best way to go — create magive by accident!

  2. Island says:

    Ask him about Max Havoc

  3. Victor De Leon says:

    Man, I love these Full Moon flicks! I used to be on a steady diet of these when I used to live in NYC. Great stuff and an awesome post, Thanks!

  4. Island says:

    If he ever plans to apologize to the people of Guam for starters.

  5. Island says:

    I’m sure he is; he’s a classic narcissistic personality disorder type. He’ll never say he’s sorry. He can’t fathom it. Our island lost so much because of him, his producer and that film.

    • trashfilmguru says:

      I’ve enver seen the film, so I honestly can’t comment on it fairly. It’s a discussion I’d probably do well to stay out of.

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